In-Home Caregivers and the “Sandwich Generation”

The Sandwich Generation

In-home caregivers might be the ideal solution for older family members and the adult children watching out for them.

Twenty-five percent of the population in the United States is currently dealing with care giving issues, with 80-85 percent providing the care themselves. These are people who are in their late 70’s and 80’s taking care of someone in their household, as well as adult children trying to maintain their own households while helping parents and family members live at home as long as possible. The adult children caring for parents have been called “The Sandwich Generation”  because they are sandwiched between aging family members on one side and young children on the other. Often family caregivers put themselves at risk by ignoring or denying their own health issues as they take care of aging loved ones. Physical signs of stress for caregivers include disturbed sleep, body aches due to tension, headaches, digestive problems, high blood pressure, irregular heart beat, chest pains, weight fluctuation (gain or loss), fatigue, sexual dysfunction, and more. Emotional signs of stress include anxiety, depression, mood swings, frustration and irritability, memory problems, lack of concentration, increased substance abuse, feeling out of control, and a feeling of isolation.
You’re not alone.
Getting help is vital during this time. Caregiving does not have to be all or nothing. Having respite so one can go to work, go to the market, go out with a friend or even take a nap is important. Starting out with a few hours of help per week may be the answer. When interviewing for an in-home caregiver, contact at least three care giving agencies or private care givers. Ask each the same questions so you can compare answers. Be aware that the first person who comes into your home may not work out. Do not get discouraged. It sometimes takes a few tries to find the right fit. Make a list of the needs of your loved one—meal preparation, personal hygiene, personal safety, medication reminders, transportation, etc. Create a job description. Put together a routine that will make your family member as comfortable with the caregiver as possible. Spend time with the caregiver, orienting him or her to the home and surroundings. Tell them the likes and dislikes of their new client.Work with the caregiver to plan activities that allow your loved one to keep active throughout the day.
Professional Help
By using a home care agency you alleviate many pitfalls. An agency can substitute with another caregiver should your caregiver have an emergency. Please note, when you hire a caregiver, it is considered custodial care. This type of care is not paid by Medicare. Long Term Care Insurance often helps pay for these services. Check the policy carefully before hiring anyone. Some policies mandate a Licensed Home Health Agency before they pay for the care. Some policies have a waiting period. These are questions that can be answered by your agent. We are all looking for “quality of life.” Taking care of yourself and finding good care for your loved ones makes the aging process better for all.
Estee Bienstock, RN, is Executive Director for ALLPOINT Home Health

Act 2 – Caring for Yourself, Your Money and Your Loved Ones


Act 1 was all about your family, your spouse, friends,
civic duties and making a living. You poured your heart and soul into creating
a good life, for yourself and others.

In fact, you get a standing ovation for all you’ve accomplished!
The world is a better place because of you and all you’ve done.

Now, let’s focus on how you can make this second act of your life a great one!

Sure, you still have responsibilities to your kids, your spouse and your work. And your parents aren’t getting any younger.

But with the right knowledge and tools, you can perform in your starring role and have fun doing it!

Join us for a day of learning, pampering, networking and fun as the experts show you how to care for yourself, your money and your loved ones in ways that make your life manageable and free from worry and stress.

  • Learn the secret to shedding unwanted pounds, managing stress, and feeling great.
  • Make smart money choices and have plenty left for playing!
  • Know the “ins and outs” of the healthcare system as well as your options so you can
  • Save time, money and your sanity!

Act 2: “You and Your Wellbeing Take Center Stage”

You’re a busy woman with lots of responsibility. Everyone turns to you to get the job done. You’ve created an amazing life for yourself and others, but you’ve also made sacrifices—and you’re tired. You may have put on weight or developed negative habits in response to stress. Your body is telling you to slow down but you have too much to do.  It’s time to put the spotlight on you and your health for a change. It’s time to decrease your stress and increase your joy and wellbeing.

In this talk, Tricia Nelson will share:

  • 3 easy and natural ways to de-stress now
  • How to find balance that lasts more than one day
  • How to eliminate food cravings (on the spot!)
  • How to feel happy…not matter what’s going on
  • Secrets to losing weight without dieting

Tricia Nelson is the co-founder and President of The Nelson Center for EmotionalHealing, a concierge treatment program helping people overcome addictions, food and emotional issues. Tricia has lost 50 lbs. and spent the past 25 years researching the underlying causes of addictions and emotional eating.

Tricia is the co-author of the book, “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Health”. She is currently writing a book with her husband and co-founder of The Nelson Center titled, Heal Your Hunger: The Truth About Why You Overeat and How to Stop.

Tricia has been featured on NBC, CBS, FOX, and Discovery Health. Tricia is a graduate of Amherst College and resides in Los Angeles with her husband. Tricia currently resides on the Board of the Beverly Hills Women’s Club.


Act 2: “The Psychology of Money: What Motivates Your Financial Decisions?”

Dr. Lee Hausner, Ph.D.Dr. Victoria Collins
Drs. Lee Hausner and Victoria Collins each bring more than three decades of expertise and experience working with affluent women and their families. You’ll learn to care for yourself by understanding what drives your financial decisions and how  to select and work with your advisory team. You’ll discover how to prepare the next generation for the responsibilities of managing wealth and to deal effectively with your parents’ money issues.

In this talk, Drs. Hausner and Collins will share:

  • The psychology of money – money messages and scripts
  • Encouraging financial responsibility – How much is enough?
  • Trustees and beneficiaries – what both need to know
  • Money conversations with parents
  • Getting the most from your financial advisors
  • Where are the risks… and the opportunities?


Victoria Collins, Ph.D., CFP During more than three decades of experience in wealth management, Victoria has specialized in working with women. She helped found First Foundation Inc., a comprehensive wealth management firm, which today manages more than $2 Billion and offers banking and trust services as well and currently serves on their Board of Directors.

Named among the “Nation’s 100 Most Exclusive Wealth Advisors” by Robb Report and for six consecutive years among the “250 Best Financial Advisors in the USA” (Worth Magazine), Victoria was also honored with the Orange County Business Journal’s “Outstanding Women in Business Award.”

Dr. Collins has authored or co-authored six books on managing wealth and building legacy families. Victoria has been interviewed on major network radio and TV shows including Good Morning America, Bloomberg; CNBC, MSNBC, PBS and CBS’s news affiliates and in publications such as The Wall Street Journal; USA Today, Money, Business Week, Investor’s Business Daily, The Los Angeles Times, The New York Times and The Orange County Register.

Dr. Lee Hausner co-founded a nationally recognized consulting group dealing with the unique problems confronting families involved in a family business and/or high net worth families of wealth that became First Foundation Advisors. She incorporated a unique six-step transition model for effective succession of family businesses in the critically acclaimed family business resource book, “Hats Off To You 2…Balancing Roles and Creating Success in Family Business Succession”. Previously Dr. Hausner served 19 years as the senior psychologist for the Beverly Hills Unified School District.

Dr. Hausner is a frequent guest on national media and has been a quoted expert in national publications such as The Wall Street Journal, Time, Forbes, Fortune, Town and Country, Privilege, The Robb Report and a contributing writer for Worth magazine. She has been a presenter at the World Economic Forum in Davos, and high net wealth/private client conferences. In addition, she has established a reputation as a well-regarded keynote speaker and seminar leader. She has been a highly-rated resource to YPO, WPO and CEO for the past 17 years.


Act 2: “Caring for the Caregiver”

When faced with the need to care for a family member or friend, many people do not know where to start in their search for resources, or how to provide proper care. This presentation will help caregivers determine what services are available, how to know when help is needed, and what kind of help might be most appropriate.

Estee discusses some of the difficult decisions that need to be made while providing care and the difficult world of family dynamics.

Estee will also discuss placement options: staying at home or moving to a residential facility. The potential pros and cons of living in a residential setting, and how to know if in-home care might be
more appropriate.

This presentation aims to help caregivers make suitable decisions regarding care options, to provide families peace of mind and avoid crisis.

Estee Bienstock grew up in Los Angeles, and graduated from the LAC/USC Nursing School in 1976. After years of working in area hospitals, Estee recognized a need for better post-acute in-home care. She then founded Enhanced Health Care in 1989 and quickly set the standard for quality home care.

In 2001, Estee formed ALLPOINT Home Health, with the goal of maintaining her unrivaled level of ethics and high standards of customer care. Since then, Estee has become part of the Alzheimer’s Association’s Speakers Bureau, has been recognized by the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers (NAPGCM).

Estee is a member of Executives/Jewish Home for the Aging Board of Directors,Vice President of the Rehab Nurses’ Society and a Member of the Hadassah Health Professionals Council

Estee spends much of her time sharing her knowledge with community organizations and educating local seniors and their family members. ALLPOINT Home Health provides both medical and non-medical in-home assistance, ranging from 4 to 24 hours a day, on an either long-term or short-term basis.



February is Heart Health Month!

by Estee Bienstock, RN
heart healthHEART HEALTH
February is Heart Health Month. Heart disease is the number one cause of death in the United States. More than 600,000 people die annually of heart disease and 135,000 from strokes. Too many people with high blood pressure and high cholesterol ignore the dangers. More education about heart disease is vital.

Research has shown that seven heart healthy behaviors are consistent with a healthy heart.

1. No smoking
2. Body Mass Index (BMI) is lower than 25
3. Adequate physical activity
4. Healthy balanced diet
5. Cholesterol level lower than 200
6. Blood pressure lower than 120/80
7. Blood Sugar level lower than 100

Maintaining a normal weight for your age and height is crucial. Find out what is appropriate for you. It is all about making the right lifestyle changes. Making the right choices can make a difference for your life.

1. Fit exercise in your day
2. Look at your dietary habits. What changes have to be made?
3. Put down that cigarette!

Foods to consider for heart health are vegetables, fruits and fish. Wild salmon is particularly recommended for its anti-inflammatory qualities and for having Omega-3 (healthy fatty acids) in it. It boosts your immune system, decreases blood clots and protects against heart attacks. Steel-Cut Oats have Complex B vitamins. These vitamins also protect against clots and hardening of the arteries. Foods to avoid are those containing high levels of sodium, sugar and saturated fats.

Find a physician you feel comfortable with and trust. Make sure you can communicate your concerns. Consider your physician part of your team when making lifestyle changes. If you are on any medications, take them the way they are prescribed.

Include your family members in the lifestyle changing team. You will do better with support. Educate yourself and your family about lifestyle changes you can make to prevent heart disease. Making changes takes determination and a plan of action. Work on one or two changes at a time so that you do not get overwhelmed and abandon the whole plan. Taking steps to improve your heart health can save your life and the lives of your loved ones.

1. Shortness of breath
2. Dizziness
3. Persistent coughing or wheezing
4. Fatigue / tiredness
5. Lack of appetite
6. Nausea
7. Impaired thinking / confusion
8. Skipped beats or increased heart rate
9. Sweating
10.Chest pain radiating down arm

It should be noted that heart disease is the number one killer of women, even more so than breast cancer. Women can experience the same symptoms as men but may have more shortness of breath, back and jaw pain and lightheadedness.

Additonal Resources:

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Heart
American Heart Association – 10 Years of “Going Red”